My Struggle With Faith by Joseph Girzone

I knew that Joseph Girzone was the author of "Joshua" series. I didn't know that he was also a Catholic priest.  So when I saw this book on a library shelf, I was immediately intrigued.

I'm glad I picked it up.

I learned a lot about the Catholic faith:  about the sacraments of confession, about their take on marriage and communion, about a lot of things.  (I found it fascinating that while catholic and protestant ideas can be very different from each other, we often use the same passages as our inspiration.  We just interpret them differently.)

Girzone's tone is very conversational and approachable.  I loved that he was able to share (and even critique) without getting preachy or nasty or bitter.  He's not afraid to let the reader know when he doubts, when he's still figuring things out, or even when he disagrees with the stance of the Church.  Sometimes on very big things like the necessity for priests to be celibate, or the process of marriage annulment.

The more I read, the more I felt like I had discovered a kindred spirit.   For example:  In one passage he writes "It was not easy for me to keep digging and digging for a ‘reason for my faith.’… In their dedication to dogma, they lost total sight of the gentle, forgiving Jesus they were supposed to be representing.  Instead, the did more damage to the name of Jesus and to people’s faith than heretics did with all their strange theological ideas. ….It was downright depressing."  I've had similar thoughts in my long relationship with the church.

Girzone's book is full of honesty and compassion.  If you're curious about the Christian faith, (or even if you have a disappointed view of the Church as an institution), I would strongly recommend this book. 

Cleaving by Julie Powell

"Cleaving: A Story of Marriage, Meat and Obsession" is Julia Powell's second book. I picked it up because I was curious. I had seen the movie "Julie and Julia," and wanted to read more about the woman behind the movie.

Of course, the person Julie is much more complex than the character in the movie. In fact, I had to giggle over a quote by Amy Adams (the actress who portrayed Julie Powell in the movie). When an interviewer told her that Julie was coming out with a new book which talked about her extramarital affair, Amy exclaimed "Not my Julie! My Julie Powell would never do that."

But of course, the real Julie did. And as "Cleaving" recounts, it was not just a short term thing. Her affair truly was an obsession. It encompasses every part of her life.

"Cleaving" follows Julie's thoughts during an "Eat Pray Love" type year. She gets sick of her affair and decides to stop it (sort of), takes up butchery to get her mind off things, and ends up going on a trip to visit with butchers around the world to continue her soul-searching.

But like "Eat Pray Love," I don't know that the soul-searcher ends up any different at the end of the journey. Some of Julie's analogies and comparisons are pretty good, but overall, I was disappointed.  I probably wouldn't recommend this book to others.

One last note. At the end of her book, Julie writes this acknowledgment: "Most of all, I thank Eric and D. Writing your own story is easy enough; having your story written by another is hard. I am grateful down to my toes for you both, for your generosity and grace in handling a situation difficult and not of your choosing." I realize that in a way, Eric is probably simplified from his real-life self (then again, this book is very raw and an "overshare" in several places), but he's a saint. I can't imagine the sheer amount of grace, forgiveness, and patience this man has. I hope for his sake that the Powell's survive this storm and experience marital bliss once again.

The Boys are Back by Simon Carr

I'm discovering a love for memoirs.  Well, cleverly written ones anyway.  This one certainly fits the bill.   

This is what Amazon had to say:   

"So there we are, a father and two sons in a household without role models, males together in a home different from anything I'd known--an idyllic Lost Boys' world with a house full of children and as few rules as possible."

When Simon Carr's wife Susie lost her battle to cancer, Carr was left to raise his 5-year old son, Alexander, on his own. Soon after, Hugo, his 11-year old son from a previous marriage comes to live with them. Now, this motley crew of boys have to learn how to be a family. Along the way, Carr reveals some illuminating truths about parenting and the differences between mothers and fathers. His messy household bears no similarity to the immaculate home his wife kept; his response to mothers on the playground fretting about his son's safety on the handlebars is, "If he falls, at least he'll know not to do it again." Emotionally honest and sharply witty, Carr's story is at once heartbreaking and wonderfully life-affirming.

One thing I'll readily admit:  There were some parts of the book I just didn't get.  But I won't blame that on the writing.  I'll blame it on the differences between men and women.  I think it would be interesting to discuss some of my "huh?" moments -- whether it was a joke I didn't get or an anecdote that didn't quite resolve -- with a bookworm of the male persuasion. 

One thing I really liked:  I discovered this book because I watched the movie "The Boys are Back" starring Clive Owen as Simon Carr.  And moments I loved most in the movie were taken word for word from Carr's original. I love that.  Now granted, Carr is a writer by trade.  So he's used to expressing himself through words.  But I still adore that Hollywood chose to stick with him. Not all details of Carr's life remain the same.  But I bet you that the lines that will get quoted from the movie are straight from the inspired pen of Simon Carr.

This memoir is full of clever lines and touching moments.  "Death by tetanus would have had disastrous political consequences on my theory of hygiene."  "I found myself sobbing too -- not exactly because I was unhappy, but to make him hear me up three flights of stairs, to show him he wasn't alone."  Totally worth picking up and devouring.

Drops Like Stars by Rob Bell

Do you have a "go-to" genre?  A fellow book-worm and I were talking the other day and she admitted that she always returns to epic adventures (in the vein of Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, etc).  Actually "admitted" is not the best word.  She's not ashamed at all.  Those are the books to which she comes home.  Other literary forays are fine and good.  But when she needs revitalization, that's where she returns.

For me, it's to books like this one:  "Drops Like Stars: A Few Thoughts on Creativity and Suffering."  Only 145 pages.  And granted, it's more a work of art or a song than a book (a fact which frustrated some online reviews).  But it's pure inspiration.  I revel in the analogies and insights and questions.  They encourage and affirm a part of me that gets worn down in the daily grind.  If you've never picked up a Rob Bell book, treat yourself to this gem.  I doubt you'll be disappointed.

Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell

I read this book after it was recommended to me by my cousin.  She was in DC for a work conference, and we met and had a wonderful evening of catching up and getting to know each other.  Turns out, we both share a passion for a reading.  So it didn't take long for recommendations to fly back and forth.

Outliers:  The Story of Success explores the factors that set people up for greatness.  He explores this phenomenon in several settings, with very enlightening conclusions.  Long story short - success is part talent, part timing, part practice, and part history.

I really enjoyed the chapter entitled "The 10,000-Hour Rule."  Do you know what the Beatles, Bill Gates, and Mozart have in common?  They all put a lot of time into learning their craft.  Much more time than any of their peers.  No one would ever claim that they didn't have an enormous amount of natural talent.  But that talent alone wasn't the secret to their success.  It was the time they put into honing and developing that talent.  Note to self:  This is one area in which I've never excelled.  I'm a hard worker and enjoy learning new things.  But I've never focused that time in one area.  I'm more of a Renaissance woman - fairly good at lots of things.  Which I suppose is a type of success.  But there's really no way around it.  To have the kind of success these men did, you need to decide where to focus...and then put in the time. 

I also liked the chapter "Rice Patties and Math Tests."  I liked it for two reasons.  First, Gladwell has a fascinating (and believable) theory that explains why Asians excel at math.  (It's based on the way their language handles mathematics.  Pretty cool actually.)  Second, he explores the different approaches Eastern and Western cultures have for education and the impact that approach has on the children of each culture.  They're both rooted in agriculture.  But the appraoches are as different as rice patties and corn fields.  In Eastern cultures, students are expected to put in long hours year round.  Gladwell quotes a farmer who states: "No one who can rise before dawn three hundred sixty days a year fails to make his family rich."  Before dawn.  360 days a year.  That's the kind of focus these cultures place on education as well as tending rice patties.  And it shows in the academic achievements of their students.

I also enjoyed Gladwell's conclusion at the end of the book.  I don't want to steal his thunder, so I'll leave it there in hopes that you pick it up and read it for yourself.  It's worth it.  (And it's an easy read, so it won't take you that long to conquer.)

The Art of War for Women

By Chin-Ning Chu

This was a great audio-book find. The full title is: "The Art of War for Women: Sun Tzu's Ancient Strategies and Wisdom for Winning at Work." I found it to be simple, insightful, respectful, and refreshing. I would definitely recommend it to any one of my female friends. It's not very long, but you'll find yourself mulling over Chu's insights for long after the CDs are done playing.

One thing I really enjoyed: Chu encourages women to be honest with themselves. What makes you happy? What do you want out of life? What are your strengths and weaknesses? ... There are no right or wrong answers. I really the analogy Chu used here. What kind of shoes do you want to wear: combat boots or glass slippers? Either answer is fine. Some women want glass slippers. Their perfect world includes prince charming, a castle, and a home life. Some women want combat boots. They want to enter the battle and conquer the business world. Each option is fine and good. But where we run into conflict is this: wearing a combat clothes with glass slippers, or trying to coordinate boots with a ball gown. Neither works. Because deep down, you're not being honest with what makes you happy. Such a simple idea. But one that needs to be remembered from time to time.

Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed this book. There's a lot of practical ideas and relevant advice. So if you're looking for something to play during your normal commute....give "The Art of War for Women" a try!

The Audacity of Hope

By Barack Obama

It was enjoyable to experience this book in audio version, especially since it was read by the author: President Obama. I think when books are read by the author, you get to hear their words the way they intend. They can capture emphasis, inflection, and other things much better than a performer could. It just gives that extra glimpse into the author’s message. Plus, President Obama has a great voice.

Amazon says: With his second book The Audacity of Hope, Obama engages themes raised in his keynote speech at the 2004 Democratic National Convention, shares personal views on faith and values and offers a vision of the future that involves repairing a "political process that is broken" and restoring a government that has fallen out of touch with the people.

I say: I was pleasantly surprised by this book. I think Barack Obama is a nice, sincere man…but I don’t always agree with his ideas and solutions. But this book affirmed a truth that I believe: there’s fault to find on both sides of the political aisle. Obama writes with passion and sincerity, and I appreciated the tone and flow of this book. My cynical side wonders if he just wrote what people may want to hear. But then again, his memoir is very honest with the fact that we face a lot of complex problems in our country (and in our world).

An interviewer asked Obama: If readers are to come away from The Audacity of Hope with one action item (a New Year's Resolution for 2007, perhaps?), what should it be?
He answered: Get involved in an issue that you're passionate about. It almost doesn’t matter what it is--improving the school system, developing strategies to wean ourselves off foreign oil, expanding health care for kids. We give too much of our power away, to the professional politicians, to the lobbyists, to cynicism. And our democracy suffers as a result.

I can fully agree with that.

A Hand to Guide Me

I’m a sucker for inspiring material, and this book is chock full of it. Denzel Washington is a spokesperson for the Boys and Girls Clubs of America. He was active in the program when he was younger, and says “it was where I learned how to play ball, where I learned how to focus and set my mind on a goal, where I learned about consequences, and where I learned how to be a man.” That’s high praise. And in this book Denzel Washington brings together seventy-four others to talk about people who have inspired and shaped their lives. To borrow the words of the book sleeve, “Those voices join in the moving chorus of a book that pays tribute to the love and generosity of people taking time to help one another, lifting one life at a time.”

From a literary standpoint, it’s an “easy read.” The chapters are short. The language is informal. And the stories are very approachable.

But this is a book I will own because of the little “gems” scattered throughout the seventy-four stories. The personalities in the book are from all over. Some of them I instantly recognized. Some I recognized because of the company they keep. Others were totally unfamiliar. Some come from supportive families, and some from troubled pasts. But each and every one had a story to tell about someone who helped to shape his or her life. Some of the inspiration was the “long-term legacy” variety and some was the “random pivotal moment” variety. The presence of both makes this book poignant and relevant. Because you never know who’s watching. And you never know how you might just change someone’s life with a well spoken word or a right action in a difficult moment.

Legacy. It’s a beautiful thing.

"Change happens. The key is to keep reaching for that guiding hand and to keep extending our own. So go ahead. Train up a child in the way he should go...and watch what happens." ~ Denzel Washington

Geisha, A Life

Not long ago, I read Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden. Though written as a realistic memoir, his book is a work of fiction. I read some fact vs. fiction reviews on his work and stumbled upon the name Mineko Iwasaki. She was interviewed by Golden when he was doing research for his book. He promised to keep her remarks confidential, but then gave a public “Thank You” in the acknowledgements of his book. I also read that Mineko was upset with Golden because she claimed he modeled much of his book on actual events of her life, but twisted them to portray them in a negative light. She was so upset that she decided to write her own story, and “Geisha, A Life” was born. With a back-story like that, how could I stay away?

I finished Mineko’s story during lunch today, and I can see why she was upset with Arthur Golden. As I was reading Geisha, A Life, I could see the inspiration for many of the characters and events in Memoirs of a Geisha. And as Mineko correctly points out, many of those events are given a more negative spin in Golden’s work.

But Mineko’s story is far from sad. She was a tremendously successful Geisha. She was singled out as a child to be the successor of her okiya, and though she had a charmed life, she worked very hard for it. Her drive, resourcefulness, and adaptability are what kept her performing at the top of her field until she chose to “retire” at age 29. She goes on to have a happy family life with her husband and children. Mineko’s book chronicles her successes and stumbles, and I found it to be a very enjoyable read.

One of the little nuggets in this story was an account of Mineko hiding a hobby from almost everyone in her life. Geisha in training were forbidden to participate in anything that might cause them bodily harm. And since Mineko was studying dance in particular, sports would never have been allowed for her. But even though her days started before dawn and ended late at night, she managed to join a girl’s basketball team! She says she got away with it because she claimed to be taking a flower arranging class. But as an ex-high school athlete, I don’t know if one class would provide enough cover. I had daily practices and weekly games, so my sporting life was a big commitment. But Mineko says she successfully kept her basketball career a secret. As an added bonus, her team finished second in their division that year. Go, girl, go!

Fashioned for Intimacy

When I read Fashioned for Intimacy by Jane Hansen for the first time, I scarfed it up. I labeled it as one of the best relationship books I’ve ever read, and I meant it. So when I decided to re-read it earlier this year, I was surprised at how differently I feel about it now. Maybe it’s because it doesn’t have the freshness and wonder of a brand new read. Maybe it’s because I’m a different person now. But for whatever reason, I didn’t experience the same joy on my second foray through the book.

I still agree with many of her insights. And I think she has some valid ideas of how the roles of men and women could be reconciled to the design that God initiated in the beginning. I particularly liked how Hansen affirms that men and women have different strengths, and those strengths are not meant to be in competition (who's stronger and in charge here?) but in cooperation (how can we be stronger together?). I think women who deal with dependency or identity issues would benefit from the wisdom offered in it's pages, so Fashioned for Intimacy is still worthy of a read-through. But I wouldn’t call it the “best relationship book ever.”

Heart of Jane's message:
"The woman is uniquely and specifically designed to stand before the man in an intimate, face-to-face relationship. However, although women were meant to look to God to find their life, identity, value and significance, since the fall of Eve in the dawn of creation, they have looked instead to men to fulfill these needs. Only when a woman's heart is turned back to God to meet her needs, she is…free to be the help God intended her to be: to draw the man out of his aloneness by relating on a level that moves past the surface and touches the deep places of his heart. She is then able to stand in a healthy, face-to-face relationship with him."

"Jane Hansen on Male Female Reconciliation." Jane Hansen, October 24, 2004